Do you ever...

Do you ever feel that if you're not helping someone, you're useless? Like if you have no "project" to help, then whats the point? I have that problem. I know i need to get over it....but i'm happiest when i'm helping someone out a lot. And it brings me down when i cant help, or i'm too late. I hate being too late. I dont know what to do with myself when i'm too late. I also hate it when i'm not trusted....that really gets to me. I am probly the #1 person for anyone to trust, so it hurts my feelings sometimes. But then again, i guess it's not my place to try and help many people. but then what is my place?Geeze, i'm so easily brought down.....what a woman.....fuck.I'm ready to get out of here. Be on my own. My aunt has offered me a job for the weekends at her restraunt, which is a step further to independance. I am all for it. And the pay is very good. It's a restraunt where only rich people go to. I'd get to dress all nice and shit, very cool. Then when i do that for the summer, I can work as a lifeguard too, so i'll be rollin' in the dough. I like money.My birthday is coming up. I'll finally be 18. That'll be cool. I wonder what i'll be doing for my brithday. I wonder if i'll bother having a party. Maybe, maybe not. We'll see. need some good luck, I need a best friendI need a rough dog, I need a mountainI need some new clothes, a tv, a causeA trip to nirvana, a thrill of applauseI need a wet kiss, I need to confessI need a vision, religionThe right to be silent, then to be heardA week on an island, a diet that worksI need a dose of the bible, another course in survivalJust talk about the essentials, to make me feel aliveThat's all I need, see how easy I am to pleaseThat's all I need, see how easy I amI need some money, more money and more timeA strong cup of coffee, a haircut, a lifelineA stranger to trust me, my father to love meSeattle, a sunburn, and lots of Todd RungranI need a guitar, to do it on all foursCool friends, weekend, and someone to die forWhen I'm alone on my couch, nothing can settle me downI'm adding on to my list, it makes me feel aliveThat's all I need, see how easy I am to pleaseThat's all I need, see how easy I amI need a guru, I need to chillI need a Mercedes 280SL, yeah,That'll fix it, I'll be completeI need a, I need, I need aThat's all I need, see how easy I am to pleaseThat's all I need, and maybe then I'll be completeThat's all I need, I'm not asking for everythingThat's all I need, see how easy I am