....to BOLDLY go where no woman has gone before...or something like that

Yes, that's my dream, to do great things....wether its on a large or small scale. It doesnt matter. Probly in psychology, i seem to have a knack for that, and i love using that knack. If not that, then most definitely in the movie business one way or another, so we'll see how it all goes. I could possibly even do both. I could also do art and write (books, music, etc) on the side....that would be cool, I'LL BE RICH! hahaha. But deep down, i do like helping people with their problems. Not so much on a "do you have a headach" scale....but more on the mental side. Emotional problems. I can already analize situations some people have (friends, family members, etc) and figure out how the problem could be solved fairly quickly...so i think thats a good thing to have. I understand ,and can interprate, how a person's mind works, mostly because i am really good at putting myself in other's shoes....you'd be amazed, althoug it sometimes drives me crazy thinking so much. But it comes naturally. And I'm not bias, and that's always good. I dont judge, and I think that makes people feel better talking to me...and i like that. It just sucks that i dont really have anyone willing to listen to me with the help in return....oh well, i'll deal...heh heh, i have no idea why i'm babbelling on about this. Sorry.It's extremely cold in my room. I'm not quite sure, but it always is. Winter sucks. My skin gets so dry and I am almost always cold. I start shaking really quickly when it's cold.SometimesI wish I was braveI wish I was strongerI wish I could feel no painI wish I was youngI wish I would tryI wish I was honestI wish I was you not I'CauseI feel so madI feel so angryI feel so callousSo lost, confused againI feel so cheapSo used, unfaithfulLet's start overLet's start overSometimesI wish I was smartI wish I made cures forHow people areI wish I had powerI wish I could leaveI wish I could change the worldFor you and me'CauseI feel so madI feel so angryI feel so callousSo lost, confused againI feel so cheapSo used, unfaithfulLet's start overLet's start over'CauseI feel so madI feel so angryI feel so callousSo lost, confused againI feel so cheapSo used, unfaithfulLet's start overLet's start overI feel so madI feel so angryI feel so callousSo lost, confused againI feel so cheapSo used, unfaithfulLet's start overLet's start over

......bite me......

I am not in a good fucking mood. I am fucking tired, so no, this is not PMS. I've got too much damn homework, and i'm probly gunna be up till midnight again. everyone is pissing me off or stressing me out, and no one seems to give a flying fuck about anything important, or things i'm concerned about. You all just think i'm full of shit and worry about senseless things, well no, there is reasoning behind my stess, so just piss off if you got a problem. Yes, i am cussing alot, but thats because i'm pissed, and again, tired. Not only am i tired from lack of sleep, but i'm tired of everything else too....i'm tired of school, i'm tired of people, i'm tired of being tired. Nobody really wants to listen, so thats why i'm typing it down here, cuz i need to get it out somehow, dont i. And since i'm most likely not going to do anything about my anger, here it is. i just want to sleep. i want to get away from everyone and just sleep. i dont want to worry about anyone cuz they dont want to worry about me, or me even to worry about them in the first place. I'm sorry if i care...i'm one of the few out there who give a fuckin shit. So everyone, if i've seemed grumpy or down in the dumps, here are the reasons why. yes, i'll get over it, soon probly, at least on the outside.Maybe life is like a ride on a freewayDodging bullets while you're trying to find your wayEveryone's around, but no one does a damn thingIt brings me down, but I won't let themIf I seem bleakWell you'd be correctAnd if I don't speakIt's cause I can't disconnectBut I won't be burned by the reflectionOf the fire in your eyesAs you're staring at the sunWhen I ran I didn't feel like a runawayWhen I escaped I didn't feel like I got awayThere's more to living than only survivingMaybe I'm not there, but I'm still tryingThough you hear meI don't think that you relateMy will is somethingThat you can't confiscateSo forgive me, but I won't be frustratedBy destruction in your eyesAs you're staring at the sun

Walla' Walla...boo bop, dont ask why....

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNIN' KING GEORGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!OK, so i know it's not the moring, but i'm watching GOOD MORNING VIETNAM, and i think it's almost over. I thinks it's pretty good, even though it makes some of the millitary look like evil asshols, which, believe me, is not true. Hollywood just likes to make those who are fighting for our country look like complete dickheads. I'm not sure why, they just do. Hmmm, I feel like singing and dancing....I donno why, i'm just happy, estatic even....bizzar.Well, the movie is over....what do i do now. Well...continue working on my AP History homework. I think i'm starting to get in the groove of things.I think the school should have a in-school radio station through out the day. I've heard of high schools doing this. It plays softly in the hallways, as to not disturb the students, and if a teacher wishes, can play it during class. I would love to be the DJ too. i think it could do it really well. And we could have annoucements with that radio thingie, and they would be fun, entergetic, people would actually listen to them. Thats what we need...Hmm, i think i could be a writer, for movies possibly, maybe even books, or music, or something like that. That could always been a back up. I'm a good writer, I just need the drive. I can always write on the side if i feel the need. That would be fun. I feel like painting on walls. I want to paint movie stuff on the walls, that would be flippin' awesome, and i think everyone would love it! it would be great, and i could have people help as well.........AWESOME"ok, so, who doesn't own a cell phonewho brought back their permission slipbecause i know nobody wants to stay homewhile the rest of us go out and make a day of itcause theme parks are so much more fun when the sun's outsideand i lost my phone to the lake beneath the batman ridethey're starting something, and i don't want to begin itthey're looking for trouble, but with me it won't be foundand i regret that i'm completely out of daytime minutesand so i guess i'll have to wait a lot till 8 o'clock comes aroundok, so, who doesn't own a cell phonewell i don't need to ask my friendsbecause i know mine was fastened to my jawbonethanks to all those nights and weekendscause theme parks are so much more fun when the sun's outsideand i lost my phone to the lake beneath the batman ridethey're starting something, and i don't want to begin itthey're looking for trouble, but with me it won't be foundand i regret that i'm completely out of daytime minutesand so i guess i'll have to wait a lot till 8 o'clock comes aroundwhen it comes to relationships i'm the dumbest oneand i don't mean just with girls, i mean with everyoneyour illustrations always point out just what's wrong with meit's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like chemistryit's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things likeit's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things likeit's chapstick, and chapped lips, and things like chemistrycan i relate to you the way you relate to mecan you help me out with my chemistryi don't want to be precieved the way i ami just want to be percieved the way i am"

...Saturday...

UHHGGG, my stomach hurts! WHY?! WHY DOES IT HURT?! I dont understand?!...could it have been the pizza? I dont know?! OH GOD! (actually, i'm over doing it a bit....it doesnt hurt THAT bad, but it does hurt.)Anyways, my day has gone pretty well. Woke up around 9...which is late for me cuz my damn sisters like to get up at the crack of dawn and turn the damn tv all the way up....but yes, i woke up at 9. then i waited for my mom to get done exercising, hoping i would be able to as well, but didnt get the chance. Then I went to Nash's house to get crackin' on the shitload of homework we have for AP History. OK, so it may not be a SHITLOAD to everyone else...but it is to me. I went from no homework to this shit....it's hard. So we got about half of it done, then....we stopped doing homework....then we went to church. Nash was more anal about being all serious about church than i was....and he's not even catholic....I think I'm losing faith in my religion. I mean, i still believe in the teaching....but i dont believe in the people today. I dont trust the church, people are not perfect, and yet we are suppost to put all of our faith and trust in this organization. Is it just me, or does that sound a little stuipid. People become corrupt, and the church has been corrupted before, so what stopping it from happening again.....sorry, just a random thoughtanyways....how are things?There's times where i want something moreSomeone more like meThere's times when this dress rehearsalSeems incompleteBut, you see the colors in me like no one elseAnd behind your dark glasses you're...You're something elseYou're really lovelyUnderneath it allYou want to love meUnderneath it allI'm really luckyUnderneath it allYou're really lovelyYou know some real bad tricksAnd you need some disciplineBut, lately you've been trying real hardAnd giving me your bestAnd, you give me the most gorgeous sleepThat i've ever hadAnd when it's really badI guess it's not that badSo many moons that we have seenStumbling back next to meI've seen right through and underneathAnd you make me betterI've seen right through and underneathAnd you make me betterBetter... better...You are my real prince charmin'Like the heat from the fireYou were always burnin'And each time you're aroundMy body keeps stalin'For your touchYour kisses and your sweet romancin'There's an underside to youThat so many adoreAside from your temperEverything else secureYou're good for me, babyOh that, i'm sureOver and over againI want moreYou've used up all your couponsAnd all you've got left is meAnd somehow i'm full of forgivenessI guess it's meant to beYou're really lovelyUnderneath it allYou want to love meUnderneath it allI'm really lovelyUnderneath it allAnd you're really lovely

The New Semester.....is gay

OMG, i friggin' hate the new semester. My classes are all crap and causing me major stress, and i miss all my old ones. Too much stress, and it's my last semester, so it sucks even more. This stress is gunna make me depressed, and i dont want to be depressed. I think i just need some sleep. ....but i'm having a shit-load of homework this weekend....not used to it. *sigh*OH, and i'm going to see a shrink (or something like that) in about 2 weeks. "Why?" You might ask? Well, i'm not going because I'm crazy (even though i might actually be crazy). It is because i believe i have ADD, and i wanna try to get it fixed. As for being crazy, during the evaluation we may or may not find some serious looniness going on in my head.

3 months!

Three Months BABY! Coolio, right? It sure is. Nash and me are so cute, it's true. Hee hee. *Doin' the happy dance* LALALA"i've got you under my skinI've got you deep in the heart of meSo deep in my heart, that you're really a part of meI've got you under my skinI've tried so not to give inI've said to myself this affair never will go so wellBut why should i try to resist, when baby will i know than wellThat i've got you under my skinI'd sacrifice anything come what mightFor the sake of having you nearIn spite of a warning voice that comes in the nightAnd repeats, repeats in my earDon't you know you fool, you never can winUse your mentality, wake up to realityBut each time i do, just the thought of youMakes me stop before i begin'cause i've got you under my skin'cause i LOVE you under my skin."

Snow ruins my...

Snow ruins my plans. I usually like the snow. Today I dont like the snow. It makes everything boring. Stupid snow.La nieve arruina mis planes. Quiero generalmente la nieve. Hoy yo me puse quiere la nieve. Hace aburrir de todo. Nieve estúpida. La neige ruine mes projets. J'aime d'habitude la neige. Aujourd'hui j'ai mis aime la neige. Il fait tout ennuyant. Neige stupide. Schnee vernichtet meine Pläne. Ich mag gewöhnlich den Schnee. Heute ich mag dont den Schnee. Es macht alles, zu bohren. Dummer Schnee. La neve rovina i miei progetti. Amo di solito la neve. Oggi ho indossato come la neve. Tutto fa il noioso. Neve stupida. Sneeuw verwoest mijn plannen. Ik hou gewoonlijk van de sneeuw. Vandaag ik houdt dont van de sneeuw. Het maakt alles dat vervelent. Domme sneeuw. Снег разрушает мои планы. Я обычно подобно снегу. Сегодня я не люблю снег. Это делает все скучным. Глупый снег.雪毀坏我的計划。我通常喜歡雪。今天我 dont 象雪一樣。制作討厭的一切。愚蠢的雪。Nash est sur le feu !

Ya' Friday Fucktard!

Another week has ended, and so has another semster. At least for me. Wow, this semester has gone by so fast, i cant believe it. It's kinda sad, cuz i loved all my classes. I'll miss them....*sigh* Hopefully i'll enjoy next semester......hopefully. Man, i finally get to enjoy high school on my last year (which almost didnt happen) and soon i'll have to say goodbye to everyone all over again....it gets old after awhile. I just wanna stay somewhere i enjoy....and here is not the place, but i DO wanna move somewhere i LOVE and just stay there...happy and such. Actually, all i really want is to sleep. Sleep all day, no worries. Just sleep, then do whatever the hell i feel like. No one nagging me, no one to please, just me. That would be nice.Me and Nash are almost to our 3 months of going out. lol. How cute. Although I'm getting tired of all you damn purvs pressuring us to do.....things. DAMIT, we'll do 'em when we damn well please and when there is a time and place....DAMIT.Hmm....66 days till my birthday....wow...I'll be 18! I CAN SMOKE! AND BUY PORN!SWEEET! I cant wait!"Head over heals I've fit in beforeNow I don't want to do it no moreI've held it all in with blood on my faceBuilt it up man so bad you can tasteI don't slag no oneI don't even judgeDon't give a shit cause I'm not gonna budgeI just want to be who I want to beGuess that's hard for others to seeI'm not a trendy assholeI do what I wantI do what I feel likeI'm not a trendy assholeDon't give a fuck if it's good enough for youCause I'm aliveSmash is the way you feel all aloneLike an outcast you're out on your ownSmash is the way you deal with your lifeLike an outcast you're smashing your strifeHead over heals I've fit in beforeNo I don't want to do it no moreI just want to be who I want to beGuess that's hard for the others to see"

Day off.

This morning sucked. I woke from a bad dream. It wasnt a nightmare or anything like that, but it had the person I dispise the most in the whole world....enough that i wish death apon him....a hate him. So yeah, that bumed me out for the morning. Oh well, at least i DID get to exercise this evening. That felt good. I'm tired now, but it's a good...achieved..tired. I've missed it."I've been a loser all my life, I'm not about to change. If you dont like it, there's the door, nobody made you stay"srry, that's a line from a song i was listening to...seems to fit me.Hmmm....a good paintball game sounds fun as hell right now. I should get a big group of people, all go get some paintball gear, get in my back yard, and just start shooting each other. That would be totally badass. WHO'S WITH ME? I also wanna make a little skit movie thingie kinda like the Daily Show, with fake news and stuff, and have everyone in it, going over whats really happening today. That, too, would be badass.Me tired....school tomorrow...blah. At least I got a new backpack. YAY. Hmm...how i get entertained by the simple things."It's seven in the morning and your walking out the doorYou got no time for coffeeI'm starring here remembering when my kisses made you lateGonna take a minute for my morning meditationBut I'm on the phone call... waiting... click... doneUnder an invasion I feel likeI'm a spinning ball in a lottery cageIf we aren't making love how can we be lovers?Gonna post a vacancy sign under the coversBefore it gets to late I'm gonna sayStop what you're doing and love me nowI'm making my move come on and love me nowI come home so tired just wanna put my feet upYou watch Letterman and eat something old I heat upThen we both fall asleep before the rooster starts to crowNo time to fight we pretend love is so sweetWhen all we're missing is what's between the sheetsUsed to find an hour between start and goWhat ever happened to staying up all night?When the bed became our island and it was just you and IOur troubles would slip away when we saidStop what you're doing and love me nowI'm making my move come on and love me nowTime... time...Time... time... time...All we need's a little time.Just you and I, magic rideIf we aren't making love how can we be lovers?Gonna post a vacancy sign under the coversBefore it gets to late I'm gonna sayStop what you're doing and love me nowI'm making my move come on and love me nowStop what you're doing and love me nowI'm making my move come on and love me now"

SNOW, HOLY CRAP!

HEY EVERYONE! It's snowing! And No SCHOOL TOMORROW! How awesome is that?! It's friggin' awesome, it is! Hmm, snow is so romantic. Hmm...so fluffy, so white, so cute when it lands on Nash's face...ER! I mean WHAT?! Sorry sorry, me acting retarted. Snow is fun to fall in, cuz it's soft. Although it IS cold, and cold isnt that fun, unless you're inside next to a nice warm fire. MMMMMM. A warm fire, in a cabin. On a nice warm carpet under nice warm blankets reading a wonderful novel, next to that special someone. MMMMM, nice.I'm watching a spoof movie called FATAL INSTINCT (1992). It's pretty funny, i enjoy it. It's not nearly as good as movies such as HOT SHOTS, but it's still worth watching.I feel frisky for some reason, whatever that means. I'm not quite sure what i mean by it, but it seem to be the word that fit. How bout you jut ignore what i just said. Yeah.I'm tired. I think it's the weather. Well at least I dont have school tomorrow. But what is a poor girl to do for a whole day with no school? What is there to do, in the soft romantic snow? What WHAT WAHT?!

Three Day Weekend comes to an end.....DAMN

Even though we had an extra day to the weekend, it still was WAY to short. Not cool. I need like another week or something.hmm, as cold as it is, i feel warm and fluffy, i would like to thank a certain someone *wink* *grin*eh hem, anways.Vouge Vouge...let your body move to the music...sorry, have that in my head...anywaysWell, I got Eddie Izzard today, that guy is HILLARIOUS! Funny transvestite brittish dude. Yup, good stuff. I need money though. DAMN Dustin wont call me for an interview. I NEED MONEY MAN! DAMN IT!So....hm....dont really know what to type....so i guess i'll write tomorrow then.....well alrightie, peace out...

FINNALLY, this damn thing works again!

Hey everyone, how's it kickin? It's ok over here. OK, i've got an idea for all us 2005 graduates! I wanna get all our buddies and their parents to go to this italian restraunt in DC calle Puca De Bepo's or something like that....i'm not sure if thats completely correct. But anyways, it's the kind of place where you get like 40 people at a time and they give you a shitload of food. It's a bit exspencive, but if our parents pay for us for graduation, it would all work out. I think it's a kickass idea and the food is GREAT! Be sure to let me know what you guys think!"And I'd give up forever to touch youCause I know that you feel me somehowYou're the closest to heaven that I'll ever beAnd I don't want to go home right nowAnd all I can taste is this momentAnd all I can breathe is your lifeCause sooner or later it's overI just don't want to miss you tonightAnd I don't want the world to see meCause I don't think that they'd understandWhen everything's made to be brokenI just want you to know who I amAnd you can't fight the tears that ain't comingOr the moment of truth in your liesWhen everything feels like the moviesYeah you bleed just to know you're aliveAnd I don't want the world to see meCause I don't think that they'd understandWhen everything's made to be brokenI just want you to know who I amI don't want the world to see meCause I don't think that they'd understandWhen everything's made to be brokenI just want you to know who I amI just want you to know who I amI just want you to know who I amI just want you to know who I amI just want you to know who I am"The GOO GOO DOLLS-"Iris"

I feel like shit-tah!

UHHGG, my knees hurt...and my sister is pissing me off. I just relized that i may be obsessive compulsive. I noticed that when my routine gets messed with, i get hella mad, and thats not good. So, yeah, right now, i'm hella irritable.THERE IS NOTHING BUT SHIT ON TV, what the hell is going on! And i have no new movies to watch, so that's ALSO pissing me off. I'm watching my HOT SHOTS right now, which is a good movie, so i'm OK for now. I can really relate to Topper Harley. Hmm...odd.*Sigh* I'm tired of school. It's boring and stupid. Hopefully second semester will be better.I need to lift some weights, I'm way too stressed right now. hmm. arrg. i think one reason why people around me dont know how stressed, pissed off, depressed, or whatever the case, i really am is because of the "defence mechanism" that i outwardly become hyper and excessively "happy" to others. We talked about this is psycology, and it's exactly how i am. On the outside i seem like a bouncy happy party kind of person, on the inside, i'm a bitter, pissed, sometimes depressed, irritable little person. It's hard to tell when i'm really happy or when i'm fake happy....blah. Oh well. As of now, i'm pissed, but i'll try not to act that way. I hope it's not unhealthy. How to i get my agression out?HAHA, hot shots is funny....BTW....NASH IS HOTT

Du Fongule! (That's Italian)

Hey everyone, how's it going?DUDE, i just watched IDLE HANDS (which i got from Netflix) and the movie is flippin' awesome! I love it. It's a funny horror about this guy who is a total lazy ass and pothead, who gets his hand possessed by the Devil. His hand then goes around killing a bunch of people, including his parents and his two best friends (one of which being Seth Green). It also features The Offspring, which is totally badass and friggin hillarious. And they cant act, which makes it even better. Sadly, Dexter Holland bites the dust (which is also hillarious) but not until they all get to preform the cover "I Wanna Be Sedated" and their song "Beheaded." Both very good. I'm likin' this Netflix thing. If you guys have any good movies in mind, please, let me know.Hmm, i'm bored. I wanna do something fun. What would be something fun...something really fun. I wanna do something out of reutine...i'm getting tired of my reutine! BLAH.Here's a random song:Mommy doesn't have a head any moreKeep it underneath my bed on the floorWell that's alright, man that's OKShe never really used her head anywayDaddy called me a stupid boyBet he wont say that any moreCause the way his body is severed tooHis vocal cords are gonna be hard to useBeheaded, watch him squirt like a garden hoseBeheaded, bloody mess all over my clothesWatch my girl friend come to the doorChop off her head, she falls to the floorNow watching my baby's jugular blowReally makes my motor goWrap a towel round the bloody stumpTake my baby's body to the city dumpThen wipe the mess off the bloody axeScoop all the fears into my pull-up sackBeheaded, watch her squirt like a garden hoseBeheaded, bloody mess all over my clothesAll my collection, adorns my room on bedroom pollsUse to be a little, but a little got more and moreNow I'm craving yoursNight brings bad dreams, bad dreams and guillotinesNight brings bad dreams, bad dreams and guillotinesOff with her headOff with her headOff with her headOff with her headOff with her headOff with her headFind another victim for my machinePut 'em in a home-made guillotineBlade falls, gonna need a casketWatch your head plop in a wicker basketLeave the house at a quarter to fourCome back with sixteen or moreCause the more I walk, the more I seeI got a funny feeling coming over meBeheaded, watch you squirt like a garden hoseBeheaded, bloody mess all over my clothes~Beheaded by The Offspring

WHOS READY FOR VACATION?!

I AM I AM!!!! WHOOO HOOO!!!....sadly it is only january and the next vacation is a ways away. But that gives me time to get "toned," right Ronnie. Hmmm....my goal, i think, is to be strong enough to kick you males' ASSES! Hmm...that would be nice...so much power..muwhahahaha...*evil laugh*...muwhahahaha. eh hem, anyways...got a little carried away... But everyone just wait, i was pumped up over the summer, i'm gunna be even more pumped up now...but not too much, dont wanna look like a man. NO WAY. hahaha....eh hem...damit, getting carried away again...BLAHLets see....what did I do today?...hmm...well, i went to school...damn mondays...then i went to the play practice...then i hung out in my car *cough* then i called the base pool and i should be getting an interview by the end of this week, which means i should be getting a job by the end of next week, now isnt that totally badass or what. And i get paid good....better than baggin groceries or something like that ya know...HAHAHAH, i mean...what? sorry sorryRight, well i'm bored...as usual. I didnt get to work out today cuz my mom made me baby sit...she should be back at like 8:30 or so...damn. I get irritable when i dont exercise, hahaha...i need to stop talking about how irritable i get. But it IS true that exercising helps your stress levels and makes you happy...so GO EXERCISE! Gotta go in the basement tomorrow or something and do some crunches and weights. Then i need to go swimming eventually and jogging. Jogging is always good, but its gunna be really hard since i havnt went jogging for months...my lazy ass needs to get off of the couch.So who likes my background? It's gunna be my halloween costume for next year, but i'll have a top on, no worries, hahahahahaha. I'm sure many of you would be horrified at the thought, so dont even think about it, cuz it aint happenin'! YAY!

Aloha

*Sigh* Me bored. My mom is making me go swim laps with my sister today. I know I need to...i really do, but I look retarted cuz I havnt done real lap swimming since 7th grade. My sister on the other hand is on the swim team at her school. I'm more of an underwater swimmer than a lap swimmer, so laps dont come naturally....but i'm really outta shape, so i really need to do this. Hopefully no one will be looking....oi vey.People annoy me....and they really shouldnt. Lately little things that people do, just habbit or quirks, really annoy me. Hopefully it's just a fase. They cant help it, and they arnt doing anything really wrong or odd, but some reason it gets to me. Unusual. Whatever.I'm kinda thinking again about my desire to go into psycology in college. We were talking about how long it takes and what kind of work you need to do in my psy. class on Fri. Then I started thinking that if i went that direction it would make me think too make and be paranoid. I've heard about people who become doctors or psychiatrists begin to become hypocondriacs (sp?) because they start thinking they have the symtoms and all that. I think I would be prone to doing that, and I dont want to waist my time thinking I'm mentally ill...speacially if I am. So now I have to go looking for a nother career path, just in case i completely change my mind. I need to find something i'm interrested in, and I wont get bored and not finish work that it requires...cuz i do that. I need something that keeps me motivated. And something that is stable.....what could that possibly be?!

Another day in the life of Hailey.....

Hey guys, if I've seemed to be acting weird (i mean, more than normal) like irritable or a little too annoying, i appologize...i think it may be PMS...and if that's too much info, i dont care, i'm just letting you know just in case you feel i'm being a total bitch...cus i cant control it at the moment, so DEAL! It will be all over soon, dont worry.Man, i am super bored....i seriously think i have ADD or ADHD, i cant pay attention to a damn thing, or stay still for that matter. It's crazy.....too many thoughts in my head at one time. I cant focus at all. Do others feel the same way sometime? It's hard to do or say anything right. I'll be talking and in mid sentence, i'll zone out and think of another topic...sometimes causing my sentence to not make any sense. Just think how it is when someone else is talking to me.....Its pissing me off, i need something to fix it man....

Mulah!

I need money, yes i do, i need money, how bout you.i am still waiting for my damn interview for the lifeguarding job. I need the damn money, i'm broke and there are things i need to buy. This is not cool. Please feel free to make a donation to the Hailey foundation. Any money you could give would be greatly appreciated. Help a poor child in need....Eh hem, yes.Anyways, my poor ass self feels like crap still. maybe i need to sleep in, go to school late or something.....something like that....or just cuddle with Nashipoo...eh hem, er, i mean what?!BTW, if any of you know the title and the artist of the song that has the lyrics "money money money money....moooney" please let me know. it;s the song thats on the apprentice.

Oi with the Poodles already

Oi, i feel fat. This christmas and caught up to me. I need to start working out again. Who wants to join me. I'm gunna try to get all in shape for the senior trip. That would be badass! "We will PUMP..YOU UP!" hmm, i cant wait for the trip, thats gunna be fun.But as of now, i still feel tubby....damn.Oi, i'm already tired of school. it's time for spring break. yup, good stuff. then the trip, then prom, then senior skip day....great line up, eh?hmm....me bored."Look at the stars,Look how they shine for you,And everything you do,Yeah, they were all yellow.I came along,I wrote a song for you,And all the things you do,And it was called "Yellow."So then I took my turn,Oh what a thing to have done,And it was all "Yellow."Your skinOh yeah, your skin and bones,Turn into something beautiful,You know, you know I love you so,You know I love you so.I swam across,I jumped across for you,Oh what a thing to do.Cos you were all "Yellow,"I drew a line,I drew a line for you,Oh what a thing to do,And it was all "Yellow."Your skin,Oh yeah your skin and bones,Turn into something beautiful,And you know for you,I'd bleed myself dry for you,I'd bleed myself dry.It's true, look how they shine for you,Look how they shine for you,Look how they shine for, Look how they shine for you,Look how they shine for you,Look how they shine.Look at the stars,Look how they shine for you,And all the things that you do."~Coldplay-"Yellow"

Back to School

Well, back to school tomorrow....goooooodie. And dammit, i feel like crap. I've got a damn cold YET AGAIN and i am very uncomfortable. On top of that, i get bitched out again by my mom.....i never get a break. And i feel like the late Mr Dangerfield.....i get no respect. i've got to get out of here...i feel like my brain is being crushed with the stress this family causes me....uhhgg. Misery loves company, so who else feels like shit!?Anyways, i hope everyone had a jolly holliday and a wonderful new year to all of you...hope no one gets the flu

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

happy new year everyone! It's my graduation year....hoooolllllyyyy crap. What the hell am i gunna do with my life. I've got nothing planned. I mean, yes, i'm going to college....but where? I need to get out of this house, i need to get out on my own...at least more so than i am now. So with that in mind....IS ANYONE LOOKING FOR A ROOMMATE, possibly starting the end of this school year or the beginning of the next for college?I'm a girl who is almost 18 and who wouldnt get in the way and is pretty flexible w/ people, meaning i dont care if you're retarted, cuz so am i.Eh hem....right. so again, Happy New Year everyone!

AHH! Where'd my hair go?!

Well guess what everyone! I chopped my hair off. Well, dont thank just me....Sami was involved (after the professional took off 6 in....Sami added 6 more). It is now to my sholders. No one else seems really that shocked ...besides my mom, she was pissed. But yeah. So that's been whats up pretty much. Nothing really going on.South Park is on TV at the moment. I like South Park. Cartman and Kenny are my faves.Ronnie....We do NOT show too much PDA. :-DNathaniel(new name NATO...easier to type and kinda funny).....ur gay, shut up.Peace out hommies

Day After Christmas....

Damn, i'm glad that's over. Whew. So...now i feel fat. Too much naughty foods...but they are so yummy. I'm gunna exercise today. And tomorrow I'm gunna do something, but i cant say what it is, cuz it's a surprise for those who wont see me till later, hahahaha. But i'll also try to finally get a job at the pool...stupid thing has been closed all weekend."I'm on the second floorwith a lock on my dorrI'm looking at a picture of your faceThe last time I lookedYou were looking really goodBut some how pictures fadeWe're on the phoneWe're all aloneAnd that just ain't good enoughI go around the worldToo see your face'Cause that just ain't good enoughSo I'm just kicking itI'm counting the daysI hardly can wait for us to hang outI'm really missing it in so many waysI anticipate us making outSip my morning tea But you're not next to meHere goes another dayAnd driving in my carI wonder how you areWhile our favorite music playsThe flowers arrive to my surpriseBut that just ain't good enoughAnd I got the note, It gave me hopeBut that just ain't good enoughSoon you'll be here with meSoom you'll be right here with meI'm with myf riends till the night endsBut that just ain't good enoughAnd honestly you can trust beBut that just ain't good enoughSo I'm just kicking itI'm counting the daysI hardly can wait for us to hang outI'm really missing it in so many waysI anticipate us making out"~No Doubt-"Making Out"

MERRY CHRISTMAS

"outside the carolers start to singI can't describe the joy they bringCause joy is something they don't bring meMy girlfriend is by my sideFrom the roof are hanging sickles of iceTheir whiny voices get irritatingIt's christmas time againSo i stand with a dead smile on my faceWondering how much of my time they'll wasteOh god, i hate these satan's helpersAnd then i guess i must have snappedBecause i grabbed the baseball batAnd made them all run for shelterIt's christmas time, againIt's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, all yearI'm growing tired of all this christmas cheerYou people scare mePlease stay away from my homeIf you wanna get beat downJust leave the presents and let me be aloneWell, i guess it's not cool to freak on christmas eveCause the cops came and arrested meThey had an unfair advantageAnd even though the jail didn't have a treeChristmas came a night earlyCause a guy named bubba unwrapped my packageIt's christmas time, againIt's time to be nice to the people you can't stand, all yearI'm growing tired of all this christmas cheerYou people scare mePlease stay away from my homeIf you wanna get beat downJust leave the presents and let me be aloneI won't be home, i won't be home for christmasI won't be home, i won't be home for christmas"~Blink 182- "I wont be home for christmas"Thats how i feel.DUDE! I got Shaun of the Dead. That movie is so kickass! Best zombie movie in my book. And what makes it even better....I GOT IT BEFORE NASH DID! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!MERRY CHRSITMAS LOSERS!

Winter Break

Well, winter break has begun and i'm already bored. I went to the mall in waldorf today, and that was stressful. I hate driving near malls, too much traffic. And i hate shopping, specially duing chrsitmas....too crowded and hecktic. It sucks. And what sucks even more is Nashipoo is off on vacation...blah. :-(but at least i have fight club....i need to start a fight club. I need to get a bunch of people to join too. I think i'm the perfect candidate for schizo too, so it's great. I'll be the psyco leader who beats myself up and tells everyone to cause michief and mayhem over the town. It would be awesome. WHO WANTS TO JOIN!?Eh hem...anyways. yes. Well, it doesnt look like it will be a white christmas this year...like every other year. Oh well. Man, christmas sucks. It's so depressing. Winter has the highest level of suicides than any other season. Cold weather sucks. Summer time is so much more fun. And i wouldnt be so pail in the summer...i look like a ghost. wow. Damn, i complain a lot...i should stop shouldnt i.Well alrightie, i guess this will do for today.

SNOW DAY! :-)

Heehee, Nashipoo...eh hem...Nash got me a bracelet for christmas. He's so sweet. I love it. heehee. As I'm sure as you can tell, today is a much better day than yesterday. It started off nice by school being cancled due to snow. So I got to sleep in...which makes me a little less cranky, which is always good. I then spent a large part of the day watching Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Ext. Edition) extras....and there were tons of them. After my time dedicated to LOTRs, I went with Nash to Best Buy to get some x-mas gifts. That was fun...finally got out of the house. Then we went strait to his house and watched part of Face off, which he also bought. Havnt watched that in a long time. Anyways, thats when he gave me the bracelet, so cute. *sigh* :-) *~Damn it's cold~* So yup, today was a good day. I liked it very much so.

Bored....and First Journal Entry

DAMIT! Ok, i tried to enter a entry(umm..yeah) already and it friggin erased it all. It was something along the lines of the following:I'm bored...but i think i have brought the boredome apon myself. Why? Mainly because i'm pissed...pissed at my parents no doubt. They gave me with crap about PDA, and how much is too much...and really, i dont think they have any busness to tell me about PDA, and they think they know everything, and one thing after another...they just piss me off. And to make it worse, my father decides that he's going to mention someone (someone i truely hate and dispise, and would rather him be dead and off the face of this planet.) and that made it even worse. So now i am here, pissed, festering, and burdened with old, evil, memories. I want to break some shit...or possibly get rid of that evil person. Whichever, i'd be just fine with.Well, anyways, i'm done with today's entry i guess.